So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
