did you get engaged???
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
