just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize