I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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