I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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