She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
