im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize