On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
