Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
