Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm at about main and main street
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
