I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
