She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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