she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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