I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You can't special order awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
