oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
