The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
how can u be prego again
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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