I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
