first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
