2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
