They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
