I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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