I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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