Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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