Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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