Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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