Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
nutella sex= disaster
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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