3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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