She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
