Only a mothe r could love this liver
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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