AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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