so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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