and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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