i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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