8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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