Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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