Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
