why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
