Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
