Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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