Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
