doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This girl is more easily done than said...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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