You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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