Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love you.
Bad choice
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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