So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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