I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All the doctor said was why
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize