I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
