Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
