your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
