I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
