from now on my penis is your penis
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
