What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
