my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
