I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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