Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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