i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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