New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
