Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
