just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
