If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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